I am sick of not being motivated by anything! You would think that moving interstate would have sparked some interest in my life but you know what? I just don’t care! I miss all of my friends that I had back on the coast. Although I have only been living in this new place one week, each night I go to bed thinking, ‘WELL THIS IS SHIT!!” I have kept myself busy here; I got a job, found a place 4 minutes away where I can do Bikram Yoga, have been going on runs and visiting the beach but this is all so boring. I am over it! I want something exciting to happen. I think I need to travel and get out and open my eyes to the world a bit. But how do you do that? By having money, that’s how. How do you get money? By working. GAH!!! It seems that life is just a boring circle of working to ‘save money’ but then ending up spending the money on essentials like petrol, rego, food, makeup etc etc until you are back at square one with $0 and no motivation. The ironic thing is, Noosa is a beautiful place. It is a famous holiday destination and well known internationally, yet I am taking for granted that I could get a job here and that I could even live here. Another thing that is nagging at me is my sudden lack of interest in the industry I am working in. It was only recently that I actually felt ashamed of the job I had. I felt that it was a ‘low’ job (to quote the words of my mother). I know that I can offer more than I am currently but I have no idea where to start! I want to perform and dance and enjoy each day and I don’t think I can do that in the place I am at now. I know that I have only given myself a week here so far and that it is really too early to be making rash judgements on how my life will be here, but this is how I feel at this moment. Not only all of this, but I want to meet someone that actually appreciates me and who doesn’t get caught up in petty bullshit. I want to have one person who I can rely on to be there for me when I have a problem and who will have my back. I hate playing the brave face all the time. I just really need something interesting to happen soon cause I am over this pit of shitness I am stuck in. Of course, I could just run back to the coast and resume my life there with my awesome friends and go back to what I was doing which was, on the most part, having FUN. That option is so tempting and so available for me to do right now but I think I need to give this a good shot. I am giving myself one month here to get into it. I know one month isn’t a lot, but at this stage one month seems a long way away. I also don’t want to wake up each day with a preconceived negative perspective on the day ahead. I don’t really know what to do here. I just want life to be exciting again… and NOW!! FUCK!!!